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Someone tells me "you're welcome" but I didn't say "thank you." Should I thank them now, or is it too late?

Context: Sometimes I forget to thank people. Other times people say "you're welcome" to tell me that I should have thanked them, but I didn't think a "thanks" was even necessary.

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    In what context? – coinbird Jun 27 '18 at 20:08
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    You can literally respond anyway you want. We're not here to tell you what to do you need to decide that for yourself. Could you [edit] this question to add some context and explain what sort of outcome you are trying to get with your response? – sphennings Jun 27 '18 at 20:12
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    How did you want/try to respond? Why didn't that (or do you think it won't) work for you? Also is this at work? At a family function? When you're hanging out with friends? The etiquette in each of these situations will be vastly different. As it stands now, your question looks too broad. – scohe001 Jun 27 '18 at 20:57

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Probably. Generally the only reason someone does that is as a slightly snarky way to remind you to thank them. But don't just say "thankyou" as though it's an automatic response. Either

  • apologize for the omission "sorry, I didn't thank you for [action/item]. [Optional: an explanation of unusual circumstances eg I've been awake 36 hours.] [ [SMILE. You are grateful for the course correction.]
  • look puzzled like you don't know why they're saying that to you. This applies if you didn't need to thank them for their action. (As a Canadian I'm a bit of an overthanker so am having trouble coming up with an example. Maybe if you held a door for someone and they said "you're welcome" as they went through.)

Don't just thank them. If nothing else, make a note that this person likes to be thanked, and be sure to do it next time.

Kate Gregory
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