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For this question, I am talking about informal texting conversation with friends, acquaintance only.

Suppose I am talking to someone and they ignored my question (either intentionally or not), I feel very annoyed and insulted. Like they don't respect me enough.

Here is what I do:

A) I will stop texting them forever until they respond back to my last question. I don't get angry at them. I just stay quiet giving them days/weeks/months to respond, and if they do, continue conversation normally.

B) If they write me other things, I will ignore the first question they asked, to equal what they did, and continue the conversation like normally.

Personally I just find very disrespectful if someone ignore my question. I never do to others. If I don't want to answer, I just say so, rather than going silent.

I wonder how do I with such peoples, and is there a better way?

Alex Robinson
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PoorCommuter
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  • How do you know people ignore you? – XtremeBaumer Nov 29 '19 at 15:18
  • I think this is a intrapersonal question as you state that you think THEY don't respect you enough when it can be issues they have no power over. Punishing them for their ASSUMED behaviour. – SZCZERZO KŁY Nov 29 '19 at 15:24
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    How do you want to "deal" with them? Are you more interested in letting them know how you feel, or just getting an answer to your question? – Em C Nov 29 '19 at 18:18
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    This depends on the person you are texting with. Could you describe a specific situation in greater detail? This is all about intuition and experience, which is why there isn't a one fits all explanation and solution. Especially if you are not great with people, I don't see how some overgeneralized advice will help you. It might even make things worse if you blindly apply something to a situation where it doesn't fit. The more you can tell us, the better – Raditz_35 Nov 29 '19 at 18:26
  • I forgot something: what question? "How are you?" Or "where is my money?" - very different situations – Raditz_35 Nov 30 '19 at 10:42
  • I am with @Raditz_35 It really depends. On the type of question. The relationship (e.g. good friends) etc. – Sybille Peters Nov 30 '19 at 11:28
  • I've cast the final close vote as "unclear", given the questions in the comments. Could you [edit] to address those? (It can be voted open again after, and then people can give more specific answers with those questions answered.) – Em C Nov 30 '19 at 15:39

1 Answers1

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is there a better way?

Possible misinterpretation

Assuming there are no more relevant details to the situation you describe: note that being ignored is your interpretation of the situation. The people you texted might be busy with their own life, thinking about their answer to you or maybe plainly forgot about your text. Things happen.
If they do ignore you, there probably is a reason behind it and you could find out what it is. To do so, first of all:

Don't tit for tat

I just find it very disrespectful if someone ignores my question.

So don't do it to others either! The fact people do things you don't like doesn't justify that you do the same. And it never will! At best it will not solve anything a and at worst things will escalate out of control.

Avoid being passive-aggressive

Though not as counter-productive as tit for tat, ignoring people ignoring you will not bring you anywhere. You also say:

If I don't want to answer, I just say so, rather than going silent.

So don't go silent either.

how do I deal with such people?

Out of all the possibilities you have, I would go for neither A nor B, but rather for one of the following:

speak out, remind, ask, call!

If you don't get what you want, it is probably because your contact did not get your expectations. Do not take for granted that other people think like you do! They might but they just as well might not. Starting with:

Could you tell me quickly if....

might just solve it. If you still don't get an answer, remind them. Depending on who it is, a simple:

?

is sometimes already enough. More formally:

Could you get back to me about my last text?

If repeated attempts are still unsuccessful, ask directly the next time you meet them or give them a call. If it is no urgent or important matter, then - honestly - you are making a big deal out of nothing.

Finally, if people you contact keep not getting back to you on important matters, you should ask yourself if staying in touch with those people really is worth it. I personally think you should stop caring for people who don't care about you at some point, but that is obviously the very last step of this escalation pattern.

A J
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theSameTime
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