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Yes, I've heard of the stories of people from different US states having long-distance relationships and eventually flying to each other and meeting up that way. But I get the feeling that this is very atypical. So the question is, typically, what is the furthest distance you should consider travelling for a relationship with someone if it's to stand a good chance of success?

I am dating someone who is about an hour's drive away and they have stated that they're concerned about the distance. We both have cars so it's about half an hour's drive to meet up half way. It doesn't seem like too much distance to me but am I being unrealistic? What hurdles would this kind of distance present long-term and would they be likely to cause the relationship to fail. Furthermore, if these hurdles are not too bad, how can I communicate to the other person that the distance is not prohibitive?

JAD
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user7419
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    It is not about being realistic or unrealistic. It is about how much both of you are willing to give. So this depends on the personality of you 2 and therefor answers will tend to be very opinion based. Not a good format for this site. – dhein Oct 18 '17 at 14:13
  • Clearly it will be a barrier to how much time you spend together. I would depend on the relationship. Sorry VTC as opinion. – paparazzo Oct 18 '17 at 14:14
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    The last bit, about 'how you could communicate that you don't find it a problem' is a good IPS question. But whether an hour is too much distance or what the furthest distance is you could consider is very opinion based, and is better edited out. Have you already proposed the 'meeting up halfway' to her when she mentioned her concerns? You might be better off asking something like "How to tell her I don't think this is a problem?" – Tinkeringbell Oct 18 '17 at 14:22

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Context: I have been in several long distance relationships, one of which was several thousand miles away.

So the largest barrier here is access. An hour apart from one another is right on the cusp of being far enough away that you have to consider if the drive is going to be worth it at each event. This means that every date, every netflix night, every coffee, requires an unfortunate amount of planning and forethought. This doesn't have to be inherently bad, and can make the time you have together feel particularly special.

It also means that, at the start of the relationship at least, there will constantly be more pressure than in a close-distance relationship. If something comes up last minute, one person might be left driving two hours for nothing. If you get into a fight and one person storms out, well that fight might not get resolved in person.

None of this should be read as telling you NOT to go for it, though. If you two like each other, and you feel comfortable jumping in to a bit more of a commitment than most relationships would start out with, 100% go for it. Just keep your communication levels high and maybe buy a day planner.

Nilerian
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