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This is my first post. I'm new here, so tell me if I make a mistake. I'll be happy to follow. Here goes.

So I'd tried buying these things called herbal cigarettes online. My parents didn't know. I understood the risks, and thought that the herbs would be healthy, if the smoke wasn't.

Now I knew my parents would make a big fuss, so I shipped the stuff to a friend with his consent. He received the package a few days later.

Now this friend, my parents don't like him. They hate him. He and I would chat a lot, and once he made some mean comment. And it devolved into a lot of cursing. My parents see this and are disappointed in the friend, and in my response to it. And they wanted me never to talk to him again because the stuff we had said was quote-unquote "very bad".

My parents started to notice I was texting a lot, and started to get suspicious. That was when the friend's parents supposedly find this package, which was hidden in a friend's room. They open it and, according to his accounts, they were yelling that it was drugs and they want to talk to my parents. But apparently they quiet down and give back the package. Too quickly. In a day and a half.

Since the friend has more permissive parents, I ask him to deliver the package to my house and hide it somewhere no one would see. But one mile is too far for him to go, and I can't leave the house one-tenth of a mile without my parents getting suspicious about me and an inevitable groundation. So we devise a plan.

I take my family to the Y, and he goes there and puts the package under the car. He lives almost directly next to the Y. But I chicken out and call it off, and he takes the package and goes home.

The next day, around night time, my mom checks my search history after feeling "suspicious" and finds - voila - searches on Amazon for boxes of herbal cigarettes and a trail of searches through the order form.

My mom comes out in a rage, cornering me in a room and yelling about what a "distasteful thing", that she "couldn't possibly imagine" why I would "do such a thing", and my "father would hear about this".

I'll save you the details of the next morning. Then my parents say that this friend is trying to hurt me by delivering this package. As well as some other racist crap about how this friend is Indian, Indians hate us since they worship cows and we can eat them, and he's trying to gain revenge for a cultural felony.

I don't have the package, either. I don't really want it now. But I'm in this pit.

So I'm grounded for 5 months, and then on further notice, my parents want to see what I bought, I'm not allowed to talk to this person again, and I'm ruined in my family's eyes. Great for a 13-year-old.

How could I have my parents regain trust in me? That would be great, and probably result in getting off the hook.

Grateful for any advice; as I'm new here, that even goes for question styling.

Insight_TypeR
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  • Hello, welcome to IPS! I'm relatively new here, too. I was wondering what you meant by "My parents see this and make *me* go apologize to *him* and tell him that that wasn't nice.", and can you reword the title to express your goal, which seems to be "how to approach parents about getting things you want", which would guide more specific answers. What is your goal for the next interaction? It probably will get voted down if it is a generic "what do i do?" question, without a specific goal in mind. You can edit the questions to take into account of changes that were suggested. Hope this helps! – ElizB Jul 04 '18 at 00:49
  • I was going for "How do I deal with this situation best, without hurting anyone's feelings?" I'll work that into the title. Thanks for your advice! – Insight_TypeR Jul 04 '18 at 00:53
  • Okay, then with that goal in mind, re-word some of the content of the question and maybe the title? – ElizB Jul 04 '18 at 00:55
  • Done that. Better? – Insight_TypeR Jul 04 '18 at 00:55
  • It looks better, but I still feel there's room for improvement, have you read this yet? https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help – ElizB Jul 04 '18 at 01:03
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    Hi! Maybe you would want to talk about what you want to achieve with the proposed solution.. Do you want your parents to accept it (the herbal cigarettes?) more, un-ground you, let you talk and hang out with your friend again, etc etc. With clear goals like such in mind, answers can then be geared towards the correct direction. As of now, the question is just a reworded version of **"what should I do?"**, which is off topic here. Thanks! – enlighten_me Jul 04 '18 at 01:08
  • Un-grounded, and maybe not look at me in such a bad light. But I don't want WikiHow-esque answers on how not to get grounded next time, because this is a tough situation. I'll fix it, though. Sorry! – Insight_TypeR Jul 04 '18 at 01:22
  • @Insight_TypeR Maybe you want to regain your parent's trust? That would be a more specific question for the community to help you answer. – ElizB Jul 04 '18 at 15:57
  • Yes, as that would result in the cancellation of being grounded. Will update. Thanks! – Insight_TypeR Jul 04 '18 at 23:10
  • @Insight_TypeR So to clarify, if you could only have one, you would choose getting ungrounded over regaining your parents' trust? – さりげない告白 Jul 05 '18 at 00:27
  • Hmm. If I gain my parents' trust, tha twould mean getting un-grounded. And you can't get un-grounded without parental trust. So I would choose trust over getting un-grounded. – Insight_TypeR Jul 05 '18 at 02:31

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