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This child (girl, approx. 13-14 yrs old) is not only unappreciative of what is given to her (across the board... regardless of the gift or the giver, she says Thank You to NO ONE, and actually complains under her breath), she is also just downright surly towards others.

Her dad and stepmother say nothing to her in the presence of others attending, and I am weary of spending money on people who act as though they don't even like me.

I might add that her other four siblings (of various ages) DO appreciate their gifts and respond in kind, without being prompted to do so by their parents.

I am about to say something very blunt, which will probably not be well received. How do I address the situation of a rude teenager attending the family Christmas celebration, where gifts will be given to all of the children?

OldPadawan
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thatgirlwhodraws
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    What is your goal in this situation? We can't really advise you about what to do, only about _how_ to best accomplish what you're hoping to make happen. – Erik Dec 18 '18 at 15:40
  • I do not wish to parent this child: she has parents. I guess that a simple 'thank you' would be nice: if that is not possible, at the very least "if you can't find anything nice to say, then say nothing at all" kind of response. She is vocal about her displeasure at being required to attend. Should I direct my comments to her parents? To her? Or say nothing and resolve next year to forgo buying her a gift? I feel that she is old enough to realize consequences for treating people poorly. – thatgirlwhodraws Dec 18 '18 at 15:49
  • This is a tricky situation for sure, because I understand that you do not want to alienate yourself from others if you are mean, but at the same time you want to inform the teen girl that she needs to behave a little better. Can you expand on the father and stepmother not saying anything to her? Has anyone else said anything to her? – ElizB Dec 18 '18 at 15:58
  • This child's parents are very involved, conscientious people where their children are concerned. I have seen them correct their other children when they have misbehaved. The issue was handled, with no further incidents occurring during the remainder of the visit. They are fair-minded and not inappropriate in their handling of the children, so I am just really kind of mystified as to why they tolerate her behavior. I am not aware of anyone else having said anything to either the parents or the child.: only brief complaints (and eye rolls) about the girl after the family has left. – thatgirlwhodraws Dec 18 '18 at 16:02
  • How was it handled? I'm not sure I understand, is it that the parents are very involved in the younger children but not the teen? – ElizB Dec 18 '18 at 16:06
  • They are a blended family. The oldest belongs to the mother from a previous relationship. The next two are daughters of the dad from his first marriage (the child in question is the eldest child of the dad), next are a girl and boy belonging to this marriage. – thatgirlwhodraws Dec 18 '18 at 16:11
  • The parents will give a warning or two and then a time-out. If it even gets to the point of a time-out... They just handle the situation. This girl however, just marches around in a huff & is indiscriminately rude to everyone present. It is a strange situation. – thatgirlwhodraws Dec 18 '18 at 16:22
  • I feel like there's a wide variety of answers possible about how to handle this, ranging from not doing anything at all to being very rude towards the girl, and I'm not sure which would work best in the situation. I am available to chat about this in the [IPS chatroom](https://chat.stackexchange.com/rooms/61165/the-awkward-silence) if you would like. As it stands, the question itself does not seem to have enough details to give a narrow range of specific answers. If you chat with us and the moderators here, we can find how to help you. – ElizB Dec 18 '18 at 16:29
  • So, after conferring in the IPS Chat room about clarifying my question; I have come to this: – thatgirlwhodraws Dec 20 '18 at 21:25

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