Can a marriage survive when one side doesn't show due to COVID restrictions?

Question

Two strong-willed families will assemble in the US Mid-Atlantic region. Except, one entire side will not be there due to unforeseen COVID restrictions and quarantine requirements. Only the groom himself and his siblings and parents will attend. Most of the groom's side could not travel from Canada. The bride's side was unwilling to reschedule. I will attend my son's wedding but not in a very festive mood. I believe the optics will be bad - so many missing guests, empty tables, and non-existent toasts. I would like to prepare for any long-term consequences by taking a position that protects his dignity, and expresses righteous disappointment but discourages conflict between the newlyweds. Suggestions?

Answer 1

Make the best of it, and help your son to make it the best. This includes simple things like reminding them to ask the venue to only set up as many tables as will be needed for the number of guests, offering to work out how there can be an equal number of toasts from both sides even though there are so few "groom" guests, and so on. Maybe get one of those signs that says "Groom Or Bride, Either Side, You're All Welcomed" so that there isn't one empty side at the ceremony.

Also consider holding another reception in Canada, once travel can happen again, for all of those who couldn't celebrate with them. This will be expensive, but if you can afford it would make a lovely gift to both the groom and the bride. You could announce it at the US reception to the general audience, but of course check with the couple first to be sure they want to do that.

Finally, don't get the wedding mixed up with the marriage. Some wedding ceremonies don't go well for various reasons, or someone can't be there, or the weather is bad; this doesn't mean the marriage is doomed. Assuming you are happy they are to be married, make sure they know you value their relationship, want them to be married, and support them as they make this transition from engaged couple to married couple. Encourage them to focus on their happy future together and not the temporary separation from some family that is happening now. To be glad that at least you are there, raising a glass to them, representing the ones who can't be there, supporting everyone. Parenting is hard work sometimes, and this is going to be one of those times.