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I (w24) do have friends but all of them are men. I have aquaintances who are women and I would really like to be friends with some of them. If I ask them to hang out, they never reply or have time - I think I am not important enough to them. My (male) friends always have time for me. Maybe I am interpreting this wrong and it means that they do not want to be friends at all?

The issue is not about meeting people as my hobbies and workplace are fairly gender-balanced. I am very direct and if I like someone I show it, for example by asking them to hang out. While I am extroverted one on one, I get rather insecure in groups.

I live in Sweden and Germany.

chris
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    Hi chris, welcome to IPS. As it stands, your question isn't a good fit for this stack, as it's asking for opinions. You need to focus on the interaction with the other person(s), and the behaviours required to interact well with others. We can help only with the interpersonal skills needed to achieve a goal. "*Making friends*" is far too broad too. Maybe reading [ask] and [writing a good question](https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3224/how-do-i-write-a-good-question) can be helpful. – OldPadawan Dec 07 '21 at 13:59

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German here answering.

In Germany you have Freunde (good friends), Bekannte (acquaintances, literally "knowns") and Kollegen ("colleagues"). While Germans are usually happy to meet with their friends, it is a bit weird to meet with acquaintaintances or colleagues without a reason. It might even be the case, that one suspects you want something (usually money or another favour) from them.

So I'd suggest you organise a bigger meeting (might as well be virtual for now, during the pandemic) as an informal social get-together event. Just something along the lines of "Hey, me and some other people are meeting together to get a beer/coffee/whatever and we would be happy if you joined us". In that way, things are not "weird" and you can easily connect with people. At the end of the meeting, you can make arrangements to meet again.

Once people, especially Germans, drop their shell, they are usually super friendly and happy to meet. On the other hand, people that are not interested can just decline the invitation and I'd suggest not to pursue this further. Potentially they have their minds elsewhere and making new friends is not a priority for them now. Trying to force it would be incredibly disrespectful.

An additional bonus with this: You can potentially make friends with multiple people at the same time.

infinitezero
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  • I see what you mean. I usually try to avoid group situations as I think I am bad at handling them. But it makes sense what you're saying so I guess I'll try to overcome that. Danke – chris Dec 07 '21 at 14:54