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There is a nice new guy at my job who I have been getting to know more lately and I think he might like me. He sits at the desk next to mine so we often talk when we are alone in the room.

We share interests in fitness and healthy lifestyle and I have a vegan recipe blog.

He is not vegan but he often asks me questions about food and my recipes... etc. and last night he texted me after work for advice on a good post-workout recipe.

I'm interested in getting to know this person more outside of work but don't want to feel awkward about it, I get the feeling that he likes me too but I don't know if he's just being friendly or really interested in my recipes. Last week we "matched" on a dating app that my friend convinced me to get on and he gave me his number. It's one of those apps where you have to "pick" each other in order to match so he was texting me and gave me his number.

Every once in a while he texts me in the evening after work.

I am planning on hosting a small dinner party at my place a couple of weeks from now and was thinking of inviting him but I don't want to feel awkward if it sounds too forward and he will turn down the invitation.

How should I suggest having him at my dinner party since he's interested in my cooking without sounding like I have an hidden agenda?

Anne Daunted GoFundMonica
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sillygilz
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2 Answers2

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With all due respect, I think you're overthinking and overcomplicating this.

You say that you don't want to look like you have a hidden agenda when inviting him to dinner. That's right you don't, you have a pretty open agenda. Lets look at all the hints we can glean from your text (and these are hints he can also glean from your interactions):

There is a nice new guy at my job who I have been getting to know more lately and I think he might like me.

Chances are you've been very friendly towards him,

He sits at the desk next to mine so we often talk when we are alone in the room.

The fact that these conversations have been pleasant for you probably means he likes your company too...

We share interests in fitness and healthy lifestyle and I have a vegan recipe blog

... you share common interests and ...

He is not vegan but he often asks me questions about food and my recipes etc and last night he texted me after work for advice on a good post-workout recipe.

... he's very interested in your cooking.

These are all reasons to invite him to a dinner party you're hosting. Usually this wouldn't even carry the hidden meaning that you're necessarily interested in him romantically, although that could be possible from the context. Especially because he expressed interest in your cooking there is no reason not to just ask him if he wants to join for the dinner party to sample some of your cooking himself.

Now, the part you're probably wondering about and where I call into question as to why you want to hide this:

I asked you if you had romantic interest in him,

I think I am and I feel like he might like me too.

This is reinforced by background info added by your latest edit:

Last week we "matched" on a dating app that my friend convinced me to get on and he gave me his number.

This means he is already interested in you. And he knows you are interested in him. There is very little ambiguity here. So I wouldn't worry about sounding like having that agenda. It's already known to both you and him that you do have that agenda.

So yeah, there isn't a way to avoid sounding like you have romantic interest in him when inviting him to the dinner party, especially since you specifically made that clear beforehand. But I also think this wouldn't be "too forward". He's already expressed interest - in both you and your cooking. There is nothing here that suggests he would be inclined to not accept a dinner invitation.

Magisch
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  • Hi Magisch! I stumbled upon this old answer, and I know it's bothersome, but it'd be great if you could edit it to include personal experience backing up your proposal, either yours or a relative's so that OP knows what you're suggesting could likely help them. Do you think you could edit your answer to include this information? Thank you :) – avazula Jul 11 '19 at 09:27
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Just make it simple. You can drop the invitation in the middle of a conversation about food.

In order to make the perfect caramelized zucchini, you have to do this and that. Oh, by the way, I plan to make them for a dinner party at my place, do you want to come and try them?

Since it's a party and not a dinner just for the two of you, he will take this chance just to get to know you better, not necessarily thinking of some hidden romantic purpose.

LinuxBlanket
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  • Hi Linux! I know it's an old answer but our site requirements evolved since you posted that answer, you may have a look at them [here](https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3583/what-are-the-citation-expectations-of-answers-on-ips-stack-exchange?cb=1). Basically, we'd like answerers to explain how they've been in a similar situation themselves (or witnessed it), so that OP knows that what's suggested was tried before and what to expect. Could you edit your answer to add this info? Thanks in advance :) – avazula Jul 11 '19 at 09:24