For questions about asking for, offering, accepting, or declining help.
Questions tagged [helping]
34 questions
73
votes
7 answers
How to politely handle support requests which lack some basic understanding?
So as a free software developer, I'm fond that there are users of my projects.
However, from time to time, it happens that some people who are definitely not in the target audience for a piece of software attempt to use it and expect support.
For…
Jonas Schäfer
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58
votes
7 answers
How to help a friend through a rough breakup when his actions are testing the limits of my patience?
One of my close friends, who is 25, has recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10-11 months. Naturally, he has turned to me and other people close to him for help and support.
My friend is, by nature, quite needy and very inexperienced with…
InterpersonalLoser
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53
votes
13 answers
How can I offer my prayers to an atheist colleague facing a serious personal situation?
A colleague of mine commented me the other day he is having a serious family issue. (An important sickness brought a relative very close to death.) As a Christian, I believe in the power of prayer. As such, I want to offer to him my prayers for his…
luchonacho
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47
votes
13 answers
How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?
I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a homework task that they were supposed to do themselves,…
user8979192
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34
votes
2 answers
How to ask if I can mow my neighbor's lawn
My neighbor and I share a lawn. It isn't clear where the property line is without looking it up in an official resource since there are no physical barriers between us. His house is quite a bit nicer than mine. We have had a few pleasant…
Reubens4Dinner
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30
votes
10 answers
Ask for support with weight loss, without sounding tedious
My question is sort-of related to this one but has the roles reversed. I've been overweight for at least 10 years, and obese for approximately 6. Last February, I decided to better my life. I've bought a fitness tracker, started an eating-habits…
Tinkeringbell
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22
votes
1 answer
Warning someone that they have been suckered into a scam
A friend of mine (let's call her Anne) was recently drawn into attending life-coaching sessions, through an organization which is a scam based on the Lifespring model (tl;dr they give you a psychological high, and then make you pay $$$ to attend…
asgallant
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21
votes
5 answers
How to efficiently and effectively decline help, being somewhat rude if necessary
As a person who is what is euphemistically called a "senior citizen" I occasionally receive offers of "help" that I do not need and do not want. Maybe in 10 years I will, but not now.
I cannot figure out what prompts this "helpfulness" -- certainly…
user1760
18
votes
1 answer
What is "holding space" and how do I do it?
I recently came across an article titled A Man's Guide To "Holding Space", which was linked in an answer to this question. I had never heard the term before, but recognised some of my own patterns of behaviour, both in the original question, and in…
Notso
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16
votes
3 answers
How can I help my partner with her body image without offending her?
I have been together with my girlfriend (let's call her Alice) for about one and a half years, with most part of it being long-distance due to her father working in another country and bringing the whole family with him.
After about six months…
SomeoneElse
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14
votes
3 answers
How to help a friend who has faced several personal, related problems in a short timespan
For what it's worth, this friend (I'll call him Jon) has Asperger's.
The problems
Lately, Jon's life has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It all started when his mom (I'll call her Jane), after suffering 10 years of all kinds of abuse, tried to…
David DPG
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11
votes
4 answers
How to overcome the anxiety occuring when one wants to ask for help?
Very often, when I need someone's help (be it a little advice or the need of an item, be it at the work or among friends, and so on) a feeling of stress comes over my mind.
I found out it has various reasons:
the fear of talking to someone,
the…
Zoltán Schmidt
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11
votes
4 answers
How can I tell a friend that their self-published book needs editing?
Background
An acquaintance of mine and his wife just self-published a very short book. Unfortunately, it has scores of grammatical mistakes on most pages. My friend and his wife have a great message to share, so I'd like to see their book improve.…
jvriesem
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9
votes
1 answer
What to do about unhelpful help?
Sometimes when you ask for help, someone will offer a suggestion that not only doesn't actually help, but clearly would make things worse. Let's assume for this question the person genuinely wants to help.
If you tell such a person, "thanks but no…
Finast
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9
votes
2 answers
How to stop someone from helping you?
Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more experience with Excel than I do).
Both started…
Ael
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