Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange
Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange

Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

From day to day life many people will need to say "no", whether it be an offer for some food or drink, or an offer or a free gift. There are various situations where saying no can be awkward or inconvenient, or other situations where someone who says "no" to you can cause you an issue too. Questions here are about resolving issues caused by saying "no" to something or someone, and also about how to say "no" to certain situations.

This tag should also be used with tags such as and .

193 questions
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10 answers

How to ask a vegan to stop telling me about veganism because I am not interested in it?

I work in an office with a couple of vegan coworkers. If I bring any animal products to lunch (even cheese, which they can smell), I'm likely to get a long earful about it. In the past, I've listened patiently to their arguments for why I should…
ArnoldF
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175
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14 answers

How to tell people I'm not their tech support?

I have a rather common problem for people in my field of study (computer science). The problem is this: People, especially relatives, ask you stuff about their computer-related problems, for example: "What kind of anti-virus program should I…
NaCl
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175
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20 answers

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (cheap car, no expensive vacations, ...) to fulfil my…
The Wavelength
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142
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11 answers

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and most times I do have time, too. I am fine if she…
XtremeBaumer
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136
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7 answers

Girlfriend's nosy mother keeps expressing that she'll show up unannounced

Some context: my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and we've decided to move in together now that she has graduated and found a job in her chosen career. We're both financially independent, and made this decision after a lot of…
Cork
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109
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8 answers

How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights?

On flights, seatmates (strangers near my seat) have asked me to swap my aisle seat (reserved in advance, sometimes paid for), usually to my disadvantage as their seat has some snag (dirtier, narrower, too close to lavatory). I usually answer 'Sorry,…
NNOX Apps
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107
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7 answers

How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation?

I have a female co-worker (she's technically my superior but in another department). We've worked together for about 4.5 years and have been become pretty good friends, we'll always chat in the kitchen at work and occasionally see each other…
Steve
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87
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8 answers

How to reject a proposal from a close friend?

I have been friends with a girl at work for more than a year. I have always seen her as a friend and I am pretty sure I never did anything to lead her on. I am going to switch jobs in a couple of months. I told her this a month ago. From that time…
Procrastinating Programmer
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81
votes
6 answers

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and I became close by spending time playing a…
Link0352
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79
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11 answers

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (13-15 year olds). When I head out to teach, most…
gparyani
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78
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14 answers

How can I stress to my brother the importance of saving when he relies on me as a safety net?

My younger brother has a wife and two daughters and has habit of spending money. For example, he likes going to movies often, eating out often, and buying name brand clothes. I also have a wife and three kids. I am not like him. I only spend when I…
paul
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75
votes
9 answers

How to redirect a real-life help vampire to an alternate source of food... um... assistance?

I've recently had some troubles with a help-vampire in the office. She's about my age (late twenties), from India and she doesn't speak Dutch. She works in the same office as me, but not on the same project/team. She was hired on a recommendation by…
Tinkeringbell
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74
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12 answers

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message outside of work and get lunch together every few…
Jess K.
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73
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7 answers

How to politely handle support requests which lack some basic understanding?

So as a free software developer, I'm fond that there are users of my projects. However, from time to time, it happens that some people who are definitely not in the target audience for a piece of software attempt to use it and expect support. For…
Jonas Schäfer
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71
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21 answers

How do I deal with a mother who won't take "no" for an answer?

My mother is quite single-minded in getting what she wants. Unfortunately, she also has only a single tactic: trying to convince me every single time we talk. Most of these things are products or activities that my wife and I have no interest in. …
Beofett
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